Life Changes
Good Sunday Morning---
I am sitting here with a glass filled with Diet Pepsi watching "Mama's Family". I love this classic show. It has become part of my Sunday morning routine.
I have struggled trying to find the words for this blog. So many life changing events have happened in the last month and finding the focus has been challenging. Today I am going to talk about a few major life lessons for me and hopefully life lessons for you. Friendships and Women.
"If you put a bunch of women in a room they will fight--if you put a bunch of men in a room--they will probably watch porn and build things." This is a direct quote from my husband. I have thought about this quote the last few weeks and I can't believe how much truth there actually is in this quote. I realize he was trying to make me laugh--but there really IS some truth in this statement.
I don't know about anyone else but when I decide to board a plane for a very long flight I feel I should cross my "T's" and dot my "I's". Tell everyone that I love that I loved them--and I decided to call my father who I have not spoken to for a year and a half--due to a woman. As resilient as I come across--I truly miss my relationship with my dad. So I called him. We talked briefly and I realized that I allowed a woman to come between my relationship with my dad. I can't control my fathers' decisions and who he chooses to spend his time with but I should not walk away from that relationship. I understand now that there will be regrets later without that relationship. Since that phone call I have talked to him a few more times. I feel better knowing we are on better terms.
When you are sitting on a plane squeezed between two strangers (a very cute guy from Russia--I might add) you think about a few things. First thing you hope you don't do--is fart. OMG don't fart. Second thing you do is pick the numerous movies you are going to watch--the guy in front of me watched "Deadpool 2" 4 times--I thought that was a little much. And finally you start to think about your life.
Before I boarded the plane I was licking a few wounds. Two friends that I thought would be in my life forever were no longer in my life. I had a falling out with both of them. I decided I was "taking a break" from friends. I hate emotional work--it is no fun. Friends, family--that is emotional work--I am a type A personality--I don't have time for that. On a personal note--I do miss them. But my decisions are final--I am taking a break from friends.
On the plane--as I thought about my life I decided a few things--I set up an exit plan for my greenhouse and my coordinator position--it's not happening immediately so RELAX--but a plan is set up. I also decided what I want to do with the next chapter of my life--I turn 45 in June. Life is short and I want to live it to the fullest.
On the plane we had a medical emergency and had to make a quick landing in Anchorage, Alaska. First off--Alaska is beautiful and I need to go there to visit. We were on the ground for an hour and I couldn't help thinking about my own health and I really need to get everything under control and maybe stop eating like my parents are away for the weekend. So I started making a health plan--you know what though? An unhealthy person can't make a health plan without guidance. So plans will be put in place to improve my health.
While back in the air--it finally hit me--I am going to two different countries with a group of women I don't know. How is this going to work? "Put a bunch of women in a room and they will fight--put a bunch of men in a room and they will probably watch porn and build things." I knew one of the women going on the trip because I had roomed with her at a conference...and there was one man on this trip. My plan was this--to stick with the woman I knew and the man. I'm raw from losing two friends--I am going to have jet lag--I am diabetic and I didn't know how my blood sugars would be (I am very snippy when my blood sugar is high). I am not friend material--this is going to be an absolute disaster for me.
In all honesty--once I landed I had jet lag--I met most of the people I would be spending this trip with and I read them immediately. Read them--not judged them. We as women are ALWAYS reading others--it is a blessing and a curse. And of course with jet lag--how wrong could I be? We had type A and type B personalities. We had bubbly personalities, free soul personalities, scheduled personalities, and co-dependent personalities (me) and then there was the man. So will this work? Can a group of women get through a trip without killing each other? Well yes we can! Now did we get on each others nerves? Absolutely! For example-- I was asked by a woman almost everyday how my blood sugars were--at first I was offended. Then I thought about it--and I finally told her and a few others that if my blood sugars were high I would get snippy--and she ended up being a little more security for me--I was in a strange country eating strange food--if I snipped at her--she would have a strong enough personality to tell me my blood sugar was probably high. So thank you--for checking on me during this trip. My first life lesson--it is OK to look to others for help and we need to stop letting that pride get in the way.
My second life lesson--we as women can come together for a purpose and literally move mountains. As different as our personalities were we came together for cultural immersion, to check out the beauty of the countries, to eat new food and share a drink (or two) and celebrate each other. It was beautiful and I was a part of it. I was flooded with new friends not only these women, and one man--but others from Japan and Taiwan. I have never felt a sense of belonging for a very long time and it felt pretty darn good.
My third life lesson--I am not so bad. I have spent many years feeling like it is me. If I could just be this--or do that--or say the right things--or stop being this. I feel there is always room for change but my core personality will remain. I no longer feel the need to beat myself up because of who I am--for what I believe in. I am also OK with people moving on from me. I am a lot to handle for some and for others--I will not give you the change you require. I have also decided NOT to read women so fast anymore--because if I would have stuck with my plan I would not have had the opportunity to get to know each and every one of these wonderful women and of course--the man.
We are all legends in out own way. There is no perfect mold when it comes to personality. I have definitely come into my own in the last month. Some people think my "give a damn" button is gone. In a way it is--life is just to short to beat yourself up--be who you are and love yourself. Be your own legend.
Until next time. Kristi
I am sitting here with a glass filled with Diet Pepsi watching "Mama's Family". I love this classic show. It has become part of my Sunday morning routine.
I have struggled trying to find the words for this blog. So many life changing events have happened in the last month and finding the focus has been challenging. Today I am going to talk about a few major life lessons for me and hopefully life lessons for you. Friendships and Women.
"If you put a bunch of women in a room they will fight--if you put a bunch of men in a room--they will probably watch porn and build things." This is a direct quote from my husband. I have thought about this quote the last few weeks and I can't believe how much truth there actually is in this quote. I realize he was trying to make me laugh--but there really IS some truth in this statement.
I don't know about anyone else but when I decide to board a plane for a very long flight I feel I should cross my "T's" and dot my "I's". Tell everyone that I love that I loved them--and I decided to call my father who I have not spoken to for a year and a half--due to a woman. As resilient as I come across--I truly miss my relationship with my dad. So I called him. We talked briefly and I realized that I allowed a woman to come between my relationship with my dad. I can't control my fathers' decisions and who he chooses to spend his time with but I should not walk away from that relationship. I understand now that there will be regrets later without that relationship. Since that phone call I have talked to him a few more times. I feel better knowing we are on better terms.
When you are sitting on a plane squeezed between two strangers (a very cute guy from Russia--I might add) you think about a few things. First thing you hope you don't do--is fart. OMG don't fart. Second thing you do is pick the numerous movies you are going to watch--the guy in front of me watched "Deadpool 2" 4 times--I thought that was a little much. And finally you start to think about your life.
Before I boarded the plane I was licking a few wounds. Two friends that I thought would be in my life forever were no longer in my life. I had a falling out with both of them. I decided I was "taking a break" from friends. I hate emotional work--it is no fun. Friends, family--that is emotional work--I am a type A personality--I don't have time for that. On a personal note--I do miss them. But my decisions are final--I am taking a break from friends.
On the plane--as I thought about my life I decided a few things--I set up an exit plan for my greenhouse and my coordinator position--it's not happening immediately so RELAX--but a plan is set up. I also decided what I want to do with the next chapter of my life--I turn 45 in June. Life is short and I want to live it to the fullest.
On the plane we had a medical emergency and had to make a quick landing in Anchorage, Alaska. First off--Alaska is beautiful and I need to go there to visit. We were on the ground for an hour and I couldn't help thinking about my own health and I really need to get everything under control and maybe stop eating like my parents are away for the weekend. So I started making a health plan--you know what though? An unhealthy person can't make a health plan without guidance. So plans will be put in place to improve my health.
While back in the air--it finally hit me--I am going to two different countries with a group of women I don't know. How is this going to work? "Put a bunch of women in a room and they will fight--put a bunch of men in a room and they will probably watch porn and build things." I knew one of the women going on the trip because I had roomed with her at a conference...and there was one man on this trip. My plan was this--to stick with the woman I knew and the man. I'm raw from losing two friends--I am going to have jet lag--I am diabetic and I didn't know how my blood sugars would be (I am very snippy when my blood sugar is high). I am not friend material--this is going to be an absolute disaster for me.
In all honesty--once I landed I had jet lag--I met most of the people I would be spending this trip with and I read them immediately. Read them--not judged them. We as women are ALWAYS reading others--it is a blessing and a curse. And of course with jet lag--how wrong could I be? We had type A and type B personalities. We had bubbly personalities, free soul personalities, scheduled personalities, and co-dependent personalities (me) and then there was the man. So will this work? Can a group of women get through a trip without killing each other? Well yes we can! Now did we get on each others nerves? Absolutely! For example-- I was asked by a woman almost everyday how my blood sugars were--at first I was offended. Then I thought about it--and I finally told her and a few others that if my blood sugars were high I would get snippy--and she ended up being a little more security for me--I was in a strange country eating strange food--if I snipped at her--she would have a strong enough personality to tell me my blood sugar was probably high. So thank you--for checking on me during this trip. My first life lesson--it is OK to look to others for help and we need to stop letting that pride get in the way.
My second life lesson--we as women can come together for a purpose and literally move mountains. As different as our personalities were we came together for cultural immersion, to check out the beauty of the countries, to eat new food and share a drink (or two) and celebrate each other. It was beautiful and I was a part of it. I was flooded with new friends not only these women, and one man--but others from Japan and Taiwan. I have never felt a sense of belonging for a very long time and it felt pretty darn good.
My third life lesson--I am not so bad. I have spent many years feeling like it is me. If I could just be this--or do that--or say the right things--or stop being this. I feel there is always room for change but my core personality will remain. I no longer feel the need to beat myself up because of who I am--for what I believe in. I am also OK with people moving on from me. I am a lot to handle for some and for others--I will not give you the change you require. I have also decided NOT to read women so fast anymore--because if I would have stuck with my plan I would not have had the opportunity to get to know each and every one of these wonderful women and of course--the man.
We are all legends in out own way. There is no perfect mold when it comes to personality. I have definitely come into my own in the last month. Some people think my "give a damn" button is gone. In a way it is--life is just to short to beat yourself up--be who you are and love yourself. Be your own legend.
Until next time. Kristi
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