A Few Things

So the big question is WHY did I stay? Trouble with family, trouble with the so and so's, battling depression, learning coping skills to live in everyday life in a small town with limited access and losing friends left and right. Well I asked myself that question a lot and here is my answer. While getting help in therapy I was required to journal. If you do not journal I strongly recommend it. It really helped to level out my emotions. I wrote in my journal a lot when I had arguments with my husband. It amazes me what comes forward when you write out your conversations and read back what was said--so many terrible things can be said. There are so many regrets having the arguments that I had with my husband. Looking back we should have handled everything just a little bit better. What I realized by writing in my journal is that there was always a third person involved in the fight. This person was not physically there but was always brought into the argument. This person was con...

I am not a good friend.  I have come to this conclusion in the last few weeks as my small circle of friends in the community I live in has dissolved. I feel maintaining friendships is really hard in the town I live in. Maybe it was because I wasn't sure I really wanted to live here. I grew up in the Black Hills, lived in larger cities, then I met my husband and I move to a town of about 10 people with the closest town having a population of about 800. I was 50 miles from a movie theater, a Wal-Mart and a hospital. I went from all access to limited access. My first few dates with my husband in the local town I was SO not impressed with the people--I am not going to lie. My first date I met the town drunks (all have since passed away). The next two dates I witnessed public domestic violence. And what I was told is "that is just so and so". Now all of us who have lived in smaller towns have heard "that is just so and so" many times--but I didn't grow up in ...