A Few Things

A FEW THINGS--MINI ADDITION: I wasn't going to post anything but after this morning I felt I should clear a few things up...or start more rumors depending on who reads this. This morning I was at the convenience store getting a breakfast sandwich that I did not need. I had two people come up to me and give me hugs to let me know they were so sorry to hear that I was....moving. Hmm...one of them said they were sorry to hear I was leaving my husband. And all I could say is--"yeah--it's really to bad." So--just to let you know I am NOT moving. I am NOT leaving my husband. I try to keep certain things to myself but maybe this rumor was brought up after a few "big ears" heard me say that I would probably move AFTER Conner graduates. I would like to be closer to where ever my kids settle because they really are my life and life is to short to live here when I could be with them. Divorcing my husband was never on the table. Matter of fact--I hope he comes ...

A FEW THINGS: Today was a great day! I went through my friend list and deleted those that needed to be deleted and made a list of those who I wasn't sure about. I want to be around people that are empowering and I want to empower others. I no longer desire to be in someone's life so that they can get some information and then twist it and make my life miserable. So how was Vegas aka Sin City? Well Sin City is for sure how I would describe Las Vegas. Didn't see a cross anywhere on the strip! I flew into Vegas on a Tuesday and my conference was held at the Excalibur Hotel. In 1992 I was in Vegas at the age of 19 and the Excalibur was brand new. There wasn't anything after that casino and I remember walking through it and I was just mesmerized ( I was really into all of that medieval back then) Fast forward to 2019 and all I can say is Excalibur--get an upgrade! Walking to my room in the long hall with very tacky wall paper and carpet I felt like I was in a horror film...

A FEW THINGS: I had a hard time getting prepped to go to Vegas for a conference. I am still mourning my dog terribly and I also had to present at this conference and with all of the emotions going on I just wasn't in the mood to go on this trip. Once I got to Vegas and figured out where my room was, where the conference was and just taking in how completely crazy Vegas is--I went to the conference get together. When I walked through the door I was met with so many hugs from my colleagues. So many conversations. So much love. I am actually not sure when the last time was that I felt so much love. My heart filled with joy. It was just incredibly nice to feel loved, wanted, and embraced. That night I couldn't help but reflect on the blog I posted a few weeks ago about my struggles with friendships and relationships with family. I always ask myself what I need to do to change--what I need to do to meet the needs of friends and even family. I walked into a room and was met with ...

My goal during this time of quietness is to accomplish three things per day. Sometimes it is big projects, sometimes it is simple like getting in my walk. Being alone with your thoughts can be very difficult. Before I go on I would like to say that my dog Penny who has been in our lives a little over 5 years learned many things from my Wiley. I don't think that I have had a day where I didn't cry. I truly feel when Wiley died I may have died a little too. The beauty of Penny is simple. When I cry--her head is in my lap--or her paw is on my knee, or she is laying at my feet. She was not trained to be a therapy dog by any means but her heart and her strength is felt everyday. Today on my walk I started to revisit my past when it comes to my husbands side of the family. I think about all of the strain with my own family. And I turned around and married into a family where they are not siblings--they are heirs. I am not joking--when the farm sold it was not the siblings--it was...

A lot goes on in your mind when you are when the house is quiet. When your mind can no longer focus on the loss you begin to think about all of the other losses. Then you realize you need to step out and breathe in some new air. This weekend I attended a football game in small town South Dakota. My nephew is a freshman football player and does not get a lot of play time but he was playing an hour away from my house so it would just be wrong not to go watch him and his team play. My brother and sister in law were also at the game so it gave us all some time to catch up. I am not comfortable around my family at this time. I am the odd man out. Here is the story. My half brother has been in trouble with the law his entire life. When no one was talking to him--I was talking to him. I accepted collect phone calls, sent him money and did what family does..I was there. He has a prisoner mentality and when life gets hard--he gets in trouble. So I told him if he continues that patte...

I have spent most of my week mourning the loss of our sweet Wiley. My goal each day was to at least get three things done. Sometimes I did other times I just rested. In the quietness of it all along I started to really think about things. For those that reached out on Facebook--I want to take this opportunity to thank you for caring enough to send love and understanding. Wiley was by my side for 15 years and to lose that is something I am struggling to adjust to. As an Exchange Coordinator that solely depends on social media to place my exchange kids I am always looking at numbers. So out of pure curiosity I ran the numbers on my emotional posts. Here are the results. Family--only 7 responded Local Friends-- 20 responded Friends I Have Met Through The Years--76 responded For years I have witnessed Facebook changing their algorithms and they have plugged up our feeds with paid ad space and news that appeals to our interests. I have to admit I am not seeing all 854 people in my...