A Few Things

A FEW THINGS: PART 3 . I informed my daughters by text because I didn't think I could tell them without crying. My husband and two sons aren't really asking me about anything and I am assuming they are sensing that Wiley is gone. I will deal with it soon. Tonight I had Parent/Teacher conferences. My anxiety levels were through the roof. So much that I had to pull over a few times and breathe. As soon as I arrived at the school I was approached by something that I was really  not wanting to discuss. And I was informed that I had an attitude. So I drove to my mothers house and sat for awhile. I then went back to the school and I attended the conferences and I just felt like I was just being stared at. Geez...I am really sorry I wasn't the freaking awesome woman you usually see in the halls of the local High School--I barely want to leave my house right now because EVERY TIME I get into my car I relive what happened on the terrible Monday morning. So if you think ...

A FEW THINGS: PART TWO.  After I received the call that Wiley passed I went to the vet immediately to say goodbye. When I arrived there was a crew to meet me. They felt the need to remind me that it wasn't my fault. The masses, the puncture wound, her age, arthritis were all factors and her time on earth was running out. And in my mind I believe that but my heart tells me that I contributed to her death and I am really having a very hard time dealing with that. I am not sure t hat I will ever forgive myself for what happened. As I kissed her nose, rubbed her ears and held her paws I asked the vet through my tears if she thought Wiley would ever forgive me. She said to me something that I am trying to accept everyday and that was "a dog will never hold a grudge--in isn't in their DNA." I wish my heart would hear that. I made arrangements to have Wiley cremated. I want to thank the vet for making all of these arrangements for me. I want to thank them for being ...

A FEW THINGS: PART ONE  This is probably the most emotional post I have ever written. This Monday morning I bumped my fur baby with my car. I quickly loaded her in the car I knew I hurt her leg and I found a puncture wound. After calling all three vets in town (15 miles from my house) and getting no help. By the way--you suck balls local vets--you have been deleted from my phone and I wish you nothing but a future closure because you all suck. I called my actual vet 50 mile s away and they had began to gather a team. To drive an injured, bleeding dog 50 miles to get help was one of the most difficult, emotional things I have ever done. Cries of pain coming out of Wiley haunts me in my dreams, I can still hear it. I will never forget it. 50 miles took forever and when we got there a crew met me, I was hugged by a vet tech and I am not sure how long I cried in her arms but I am so thankful she sat with me--I was not in good shape mentally. They rushed Wiley in for an assessment, ...