Our Sweet Wiley Sue Continued...

A FEW THINGS: PART TWO.

 After I received the call that Wiley passed I went to the vet immediately to say goodbye. When I arrived there was a crew to meet me. They felt the need to remind me that it wasn't my fault. The masses, the puncture wound, her age, arthritis were all factors and her time on earth was running out. And in my mind I believe that but my heart tells me that I contributed to her death and I am really having a very hard time dealing with that. I am not sure that I will ever forgive myself for what happened.

As I kissed her nose, rubbed her ears and held her paws I asked the vet through my tears if she thought Wiley would ever forgive me. She said to me something that I am trying to accept everyday and that was "a dog will never hold a grudge--in isn't in their DNA." I wish my heart would hear that.
I made arrangements to have Wiley cremated. I want to thank the vet for making all of these arrangements for me. I want to thank them for being my grief team as I struggled leaving her side even after she passed away. Your comfort and your professionalism will never be forgotten.

In looking for comfort I turned to a few social media groups to share my grief and as we were sharing our grief--someone popped in and said "it's not like she was your kid or anything--try mourning a child and then tell me your sob story."

Wiley came into our lives around 15 years ago. She was a rescue dog that chose me to be her companion. In the last 15 years she was always at my feet, sleeping in her bed next to my bed, whenever I got up to do something she followed me. We were together ALL OF THE TIME.
So to the man that put me in my place--you are absolutely right--I don't know what it feels like to lose a child and I hope I never do--but I will not allow anyone to trivialize my grief and what I feel losing my faithful companion of the last 15 years AND try to deal with my own guilt because people--my guilt is eating me alive right now.

Until next time...Kristi