Sunday 3-21-2021 A Fresh Start

A FEW THINGS WITH KRISTI JANEEN:

My name is Kristi and I live in the "middle of nowhere" South Dakota. I married my husband in 1998 and together we have raised/still raising four wonderful children.

My oldest daughter has graduated from college with a General Studies/ Geology degree. She is happily married and is making her life her own. 

My second oldest daughter is going to college for Sociology while completing her Associates Degree in General Studies. She is in a relationship with someone who is Transgender and we love HER very much. 

My oldest son is going to college for Accounting. He is maintaining a 4.0 grade point average and I can't wait to see him succeed in his field.

My second oldest son--and the baby is 11 years old. He is at an age where he is trying to figure out who he is and who he is not and what we know right now is that he is NOT into sports.

My husband has spent the last 25 years having numerous jobs from working on the Family Farm, to working for the County, to working for a Trenching Company to finally owning and operating a Trucking Company. 

I owned and operated a small greenhouse for 20 years and decided after my oldest son graduated from High School it was time to retire. To have three adult kids and a child--my focus changed from running a seasonal business to focusing on making sure my youngest child knew his older siblings.

I started to consider retirement from my seasonal business in 2015. The travel bug was on my heart for many years and I wanted to start my own travel agency. Well--a lot happened when I made that decision.

My husband started to build his trucking company, three of my four kids graduated from High School,  moved out of the house and onto college. I retired from my seasonal business. And I realized I needed to get my mental health under control.

I do suffer from anxiety and depression. I have been in therapy, I have taken meds and it is something I deal with everyday. It is not easy and I am very vocal about it. I am lucky, thankful and blessed that I am still here on this earth because there was a time where I didn't want live anymore.

Throughout this process I have lost a lot of family members (relatives--for future references). I do not have a relationship with my father, my brothers, a few aunts, uncles and cousins. I miss them--not going to lie--but I got better mental health wise and when you get better you can't be around people who don't want to get better. Of course--they might have a different story--and that is fine.

I have never had much of a relationship with my husbands family. Long story short--the majority of the family felt I "trapped" my husband (we had one of our kids before marriage) and that I was just "hanging on" to get my hands on some good quality farm ground. From Prenup requests, to being called a Gold Digger, to rumors flying around the community about me cheating. It has been a long 25 years of pain. 

I decided I wanted to fix this pain--I went to a lawyer and I decided after all of the years of hearing this bullshit and having even my husband question my loyalty and trust it was time to close this chapter. You see--I am the only one who married into this family--and I was tired of regretting that. I was tired of upping my meds over the holidays because of the anxiety of knowing what people thought of me. It was painful. And no matter how hard I worked I couldn't win. Unbearable emotional pain. 

I went to a lawyer and she drew up papers for me to sign that takes me off of my husband's family farm in death or divorce. Which means--if my husband dies I won't get the land. If I divorce my husband I can't get any land. I signed, sealed and sent them to every member of the family as their 2020 Christmas Gift. Please note: I did not cave with this. I would never come to the table without getting what I wanted as well. My husband has always worked his ass off for his family and has made sure that I am taken care of for the rest of my life. What we established as a married couple means more to me than an investment property his parents own. (Sorry not sorry--the day his family CHOSE to rent the farm to the highest bidder was the day it went from a family farm to an investment property) And one of the things I brought with me as a transplant to this community was that inheritance is a gift-- not something you control someone with. 

Just a little side note: to those in the community who believed everything they heard about me-- because it came from other family members--I would like you to picture me with two middle fingers in the air--not just the one hand but BOTH hands.  It was never about the farm for me. I even wrote my in-laws a hand written letter telling them it was never about the land--and that I did just really love their son. And how insulting to my husband for anyone that thought I was here for anything other than him (including HIM). 

It angers me that my husbands family CHOSE not to be involved in our children's lives because they seemed to concerned about their "things" and me taking their "things." It is sad to me that I was involved in a community where a good majority CHOSE to believe what they were told because I was the transplant in town. It angers me that my own family won't deal with their shit so that we can all have a relationship. 

Throughout this process. I would tell people close to me that I didn't want to be alone--that I was afraid of where my thoughts would take me--then COVID-19 hit. And I had to LEARN how to be alone. And you know what? I learned how to be alone.

I suppose you are wondering--what about the travel agency? Well--just wait--I am getting to it.

I enrolled in life coaching classes while staying at home. I learned time management, forgiveness, organization, grace, goal setting, communication and a little something called Hygge. 

Now the travel agency--I contracted with a host agency right before COVID-19 hit the country. Perfect timing right? I thought so. Well it actually WAS perfect timing. I decided that since I couldn't sell travel I could go back to school and learn all about it and my 2021 New Years gift to me was a certificate in Travel and Tourism from NYU.

I was diagnosed with COVID-19 in December. My husband was considered an essential worker during the pandemic and accidently brought the virus home with him. I did not end up in the hospital but I came close a few times. Luckily I had a lot of help--and a lot of meds along with determination and I can say that it was absolutely horrible but I survived it.

As of today--I still fight headaches, I have lost some hair, I have exhaustion, taste and smell is a little off and I fight a little memory loss. But my lungs are good and that is what really scared the hell out of me during my COVID-19 diagnosis. I know these things will eventually get better--I just need patience.

With having COVID-19 I thought about death and how life can be taken at any moment. It made me think of how many years I wasted on crappy, toxic people. How the stress of showing people that I am really not that bad was such a waste of my valuable time. In my younger years I would have people tell me that when it came to my father you either liked him or hated him--there was no in between. I didn't know that was maybe genetic but I really think that is where I am at with people who know me. There is no in between and I am good with that. No more games--no more image-- I am who I am and I can't change how someone might see me. 

Back to the travel agency--I am now taking classes to sell travel through my host agency. That is where I am. I have a list of other projects and I am using my time management skills to the best of my ability. This travel agency is my retirement career. It is something I have wanted for a very long time and I went through a lot of hills and valleys to get to this point. What an amazing journey it has been so far.

Now that you are caught up--I look forward to sharing more of this journey with you. 

Have an amazing week. 

Kristi