A Few Things

A FEW THINGS:

Today is kind of a somber day for me. It is the heavenly birthday of someone I admired throughout my life. Robin Williams. He would have been 70 years old today. I always think he passed away at the wrong time. So much material out there with Trump and Biden in office. But...with the changing words and thoughts of the American People--maybe his comedy would be considered a little "out of style" now. All I know is that I miss his humor and I miss his desire and love to help others in need.

Robin Williams struggled with drugs and that is the reason I never experimented with drugs. His struggles with alcohol is why I have a drink in moderation. His battles with depression and poor mental health are why I continue with my journey get help for my anxiety, depression and overall mental health. That is the influence he had on me. 

Robin Williams had a true passion for helping the homeless. I am definitely aging myself here but I always looked forward to the "Comic Relief" telethon. Not only did I get to see Robin Williams in his element. But I was able to see all of the other comedians that I grew up watching come together for a very worthy cause. It definitely had an influence on me. It was also my first life lesson on how this country works. It didn't really matter how many millions of dollars "Comic Relief" raised it was just a band aid on the homeless problem in America. So when Robin Williams took it to Washington--the politicians gave him the time, passed some legislation and then just kind of "put it to the side" so to speak. The legislation gave a little relief to the homeless issues--but the impact should have been much bigger. And that is really how Washington DC continues to work today. Little impact on people who really need a big impact. 

As most of you know--Robin Williams committed suicide. There are tons of theories out there on why he committed suicide. Some say he was depressed, some say it was because he had Lewy Body Dementia and that lead to his suicide and some say it was a combination of both. You know what? It doesn't really matter to me. He committed suicide--alone--in his room--with a belt around his neck.

For those that fight depression--it is extremely difficult to be alone. I hated being alone because I was scared of my thoughts. I was scared of what those thoughts would lead to. I am not much for giving the Disney version of my life-- so to put it plainly--I thought about ending it. And when I had myself thoroughly convinced that my husband and my kids would be better off without me. I was lucky enough to have a friend who must have seen it written on my face, or was picking up the vibes from my social media posts and he stepped in. I was at the bank--doing a deposit, he called me into his office and about an hour maybe two hours later I was on the phone with my doctor and I got much needed help. I am not sure what would have happened if he wouldn't have asked me to see him in his office. I would probably not be here. So thank you Rod for stepping in and pretty much saving my life. You deserve some praise.  

It has been a long time since I was in that dark place and my life is so much better. Getting help, being on medication, learning coping skills, dumping the toxic people, and owning my shit. It has been a whirlwind of emotions. But the growth is there. I can be alone with my thoughts now. I can be alone. And that is something I never thought would happen in my lifetime.

This day is a very hard day for the children of Robin Williams. His daughter Zelda encourages us to volunteer at a homeless shelter or make kits to hand out to our homeless population, Robin Williams was also a huge supporter of St. Jude's Children hospital. So she encourages us to give a donation in Robin's name. And finally--she wants us to laugh and curse in his remembrance. I like that.

If you are thinking about going down a dark path--

Please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:

1-800-273-8255

Until Next Time--

Kristi